Irish stars were Shining ……..A memoir

                                          Stars in my eyes 

It was the first night of innocent ignorance. 

The start of a week long rookie crew member with fishermen in the cold late September nights, chasing the “silver darlings”( herring fish to we erudite beginners ) 

As we chugged from the calm sheltered harbour under a canopy of a glittering sky I was reminded of  Vincent Van Gogh and the Paul Simon song :-  

“Starry Starry Night, paint your palette blue and grey.” 

 The silhouette of the South County Down  town in Northern Ireland became smaller until it faded into the darkness as if someone slowly used a dimmer switch. I felt elated as we came to the fishing ground. Cries and banter could be heard from other boats.The acoustics needed no amplifier. It was a city at sea, lights bobbing on the larger boats lighting up the deckhands preparing to drive further out to sea. 

                                    Into the deep   

We shot the net which to me was about 30feet, (approximately 9 meters.) The sea and wind had freshened and a dark curtain had closed over the  stars.  The cold spray and wind were like a tattooist’s needle on my face. In the forecastle the pan sizzled with rashers of bacon and a loaf for help yourself slices, best hot snack I devoured in a long time. We grabbed a few hours sleep before the hauling the net. I could feel the waves beginning to toss the boat up down side to side, I felt we were in for a rough few hours. I wasn’t wrong. 

Two men at the side hauling the net, Two the other shaking the catch and storing the net. Skipper at the wheel, yelling feisty orders keeping us concentrated on our job and rotating our positions. It was heavy hauling the net, my side got snagged on the bottom. A pair of stronger arms took the rope waited until the boat dipped in a trough and used the lift in the waves and a strong haul released it. The fish were still coming in on the net but something was wrong. 

                                       Unwanted guest 

Another boat came out of the dark, they had obviously shot their net over ours and they were getting too close 

Skipper was yelling instructions to them to release their ropes an steer starboard to unwind their nets but they were inexperienced and made a few gaffes before freeing the nets. I don’t know if they cut their nets but the “White Heather” drifted away from us to safety we never saw them again. Nets in and emptied we rode to harbour on the crest of the waves. Last boat in;  daylight brought relaxation. Just to empty the catch of fish on to harbour and wait for a buyer. 

There were only a few more nights left of my bucket list adventures. 

On leaving my crewmen I was a wiser man with tired muscles and a greater respect for the seamen who harvest the unpredictable  seas. 

                

                        A lesson learned

The lessons were  memorable, but it turned my thoughts to the fishermen who were in the middle of the sea of Galilee when a ferocious storm blew up, and it seemed to be the perfect storm *which would not be uncommon with being pretty much surrounded my mountains but they would have no rescuers, no life boats. To the disciples it seemed hopeless. Wind howled, sails  ripped, water washing over the sides of their fishing craft it was a ferocious storm. However, Jesus was not surprised, was he testing their trust in Him ? I am sure Matthew relating the true miracles of Jesus was also to reinforce the reasons why people ought to trust in Him as the Son of God. What amazes me is Jesus commands the wind and the waves to be still and “Immediately the wind dropped and waves becalmed: I cannot imagine how that would have felt, instantly no wind, no waves. The clouds retreated , the stars displayed the glory of their creator. 

Wow !Truly the master of earth and sky, as the song says :-“ Whether the wrath of the storm tossed sea, or demons or men, or whatever it be. No Waters can swallow the ship where lies the Master of ocean and earth and sky. They all will sweetly obey his will ……PEACE BE STILL “  or …… ……..  :—

“When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed when you are discouraged thinking all is lost, count you many blessings name them one by one and it will SURPRISE you what the Lord has done”

 “Never let the presence of a storm cause you to doubt the presence of God”.     (UCB  quote) 

 A calming reminder to all who are experiencing turmoil during the ongoing challenges we face each day.   

                                              “ Peace be still !.. and immediately…!!

*Mark 4 v 36-41  Matthew 8v 23-27   Luke 8 v 22-25

                          

  One Mans  Loneliness 

Wakened by the incessant din of bird cries, he slid into his home made shoes and swung out of his hammock.

The daily routine was past the boring stage as he placed a few twigs on the white embers exhaled with a whistle until the fire glow burst into life. Breakfast,fresh mango and salty fish. All the necessary living equipment had been salvaged from the wreckage of the ship, now only the broken hulk visible at low tide. Another notch on the tree meant the time was now two years and one hundred and five days. Fortunately the island home had all the basics, clean water, plenty fire wood and a variety of food.  

He had moved away from the beach with its palm trees and hot sand and now set up camp amongst the feral cats where he felt safer from the nocturnal vermin. He talked and sung songs to keep the voice muscles working. He was alone and he was beginning to give up hope. Loneliness  had taken hold of his psyche. Alone the tears flowed alone the hope of being rescued. The words of his school days poem haunted him.

            “Alone, alone, all all alone 

              Alone on a wide wide sea

               And never a saint took pity on 

                My soul in agony.”

Who said it ? His memory was fading, it was about an ancient sailor becalmed for weeks on an ocean somewhere, that was all he could remember.*

He was missing the small black dot breaking the trajectory of the horizon line. 

So many disappointing efforts to attract attention. So many times rebuilding the fire on the hill. Hope filled his heart as the image grew larger and rescue was closer than before. The scene of the small boat digging into the waves filled him with a mix of joy and foreboding. Could he communicate with these people?  Angst began penetrating his mind. In the rescue craft his fears were  allayed, they were a friendly crew. 

* Rime of the Ancient Mariner 

As he gazed back at the island he couldn’t  help but feel sad to see the melange of stuff he had worked so hard to make and adapt during his time marooned on his island home.

 However …………… most of us will have read or seen one of the many the Robinson  Cruso variances on the same genres. Films like Tom Hanks in “Cast Away” even Matt Damon in an out of this world “The Martian” left behind on Mars or listen to Radio 4 “Desert Island Discs”with Lauren Laverne and  all other Robinsonesk variations. 

It is over 300 years since Daniel Defoe penned the story which were said to be inspired by the experiences of Alexander Selkirk, a Scott who voluntary asked to be left off on an uninhabited island and spent 4 years isolated before being picked up by a passing ship.

Loneliness, in all its  forms and experiences,  is a struggle many of us will have to face in today’s society with COVID 19 effecting many more folks. Having to self isolate has had physical and mental challenges for all of us. 

In typing these comments I have no quick fix answer except at time of writing there is a spec on the horizon which handled cautiously could get us rescued from the pandemic. 

Is the cure in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? Is it a matter of doing something different in our daily routine? 

All I can speak of is that it may “ Lower our self esteem, leaving us with a feeling of being unworthy of attention”or ask ourselves “How can I be happy when  I am lonely” all leading to possible mental health attacks 

Consider these suggestions given to me:- 

1. Realise we are not alone.

2. Change the things we can.

3. Get more involved: phone a friend.

4. Avoid comparing ourselves to others.

5. Take mobile phone breaks and 

 6  Stay away from social media.

As one who is acquainted with the Bible reading and prayer for daily help, many encouragements can be found in God’s storehouse.

Many of those mentioned as heroes of the faith were prone to times of loneliness. 

How did it affect Joseph, thrown into a black hole, alone in slavery. Or Elijah cowered down in a cave thinking he was the only worshiper of God left. Alone in a haze of doubt. 

Elisha dying of an incurable illness. Alone in an infirmity.

David had a time when he was mentally drained. Alone, out of control.

Job, alone in his sufferings with no comfort from those closest to him.

John the Baptist in prison wrestling with questions in his loneliness and doubt. “ Are you the Christ or should we look for another?  ( Luke 7 v 20)

Above all is the loneliness and pain of our Lord. Hanging on a rough wooden cross deserted by his disciples and even His father, who turned away from His son as the filth of our sin was being paid for.

Let’s take heart my fellow traveller, we are never alone, never unloved, never deserted. Consider ; 

David : “ When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought me joy” Psalm 94v 19

Job: “Then I would have this consolation, my joy in unrelenting pain , that I had not denied the words of the Holy One. Job 6v 10

Musicians in the temple who wrote most comforting words in Psalms 42 & 43.

The New Testament disciples and the early church went through horrendous treatment and torture for the new Way. You will scan through Saint Paul and his sufferings through to the Apostle John and his banishment to an island. 

 On our desert place these treasures may be helpful by reading and meditating on them.

 

I reiterate, not only Covid 19 can effect mental health. Speak to a close friend. If necessary contact a professional for help.

I know sharing is helping me.